War and Pacifism
by Demeter1
Summary: War is one extreme in the world. Pacifism is another. And Relena stands in between the two.


Title: "War and Pacifism"

Author: Demeter

Disclaimer: All rights and privileges to Shin Kidousenki Gundam Wing are trademarks and property of Sunrise, Bandai, Sotsu Agency, and associated parties. All the characters belong to them, and all stories, relationships, ideas are fiction. They are not related to the original plot. The story, the relationships and original characters within the fic are copyright of the author Demeter.

 ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

            I've always hated war. 

            Hated it with every fiber in my body. All it does is kill, starve, destroy, massacre, grind, all those nasty little adjectives that people can speak of. War is the rapist of women, beater of children, killer of soldiers, and bomber of cities. There are no benefits in the short term, and the long term is so long, that it might as well be non-existent. 

            There was so much I could not believe when I was naive, so very innocent. No, not innocent. Perhaps I was ignorant. I understand that now. I was not the sweet little girl that everyone assumed I was. I was merely ignorant; someone who was idiotic enough to believe that just talking would rid a world, steeped in hate and strife, from stopping wars that had lasted generations.

            I've tried, tried very hard to understand Trieze's ideal. Yet, no matter how much I push myself to believe in him, my mind and heart will never follow. War, will forever be in my eyes, a stained, bloody knife that knows no end to bloodlust. 

            Yet, I think I hate pacifism too. 

            A foolish ideal that rose up during the middle of a devastating war. An ideal, which at the time, had seemed to have no chance of happening, yet did. I still wonder how this ideal, the ideal I brought onto the battlefield of Earth and the Colonies, ever made it safely through the bloody gaps of the insulated battles. People were too busy trying to save themselves. Who had the time to listen to a fifteen-year-old girl who appeared out of nowhere to preach an ideal long thought dead?

            Pacifism brought me into the political arena, and left me there, with no more than a few pieces of paper and the remnants of a shattered glass kingdom. I had thought myself brave at the time; now I know myself to be only foolish and naive. It's a wonder no one managed to kill me in that first year.

            Soldiers of all ages fought in those wars. Never stopping, never giving up the hope that one day the peace they yearned for so desperately would appear and drop into their laps.

            Instead, I did.

            And, I think that instead of being the Peace that everyone thought I would bring, I was truly the cursed soul who would eventually plunge the two worlds, Earth and the Colonies, into a war none of them would ever come out alive from. Because of my foolhardy ideals, I have stopped the fighting, that is true enough.

            However, I probably would be the cause of a more devastating war to occur. 

            Pacifism brings a temporary peace, yes.

            But it only stalls the inevitable. The day when another war, a more terrifying war would happen.

            Why do I fight then? Why in the world do I continue to push an ideal I have no right to neither defend nor lecture on? I had never concentrated on these thoughts, tried to push them out of my mind, blaming Marimeia, blaming Heero, blaming my brother. Blaming all the pilots, all my friends. That incident brought the realization of what I had done, and I could do nothing to stop it.

            Momentum was driving me too quickly for me to ever come to a screeching halt. 

            Then, why do I still fight? 

            Why do I still wish?

            Why do I still dream?

            Because, sometimes, a person must me found, one who will dream for the entire world, to dream for the colonies.

            Especially for little girls with puppies.

            For churches and orphanages.

            For mercenary children.

            For sons and daughters who can grow up in a world without bloodshed.

            For old forgotten clans and customs.

            For doctors so they need not work on the battlefield.

            For a person to never have to lose their family, and feel the need to seek revenge.

            For people to live safely, here, anywhere.

            For the countless lives who have already perished for our fight for pacifism.

            I realized, on that cold morning as I sat above the ocean, ready to jump, that I am needed. That there is no need for me to try to cleanse my hands. No need to pretend that I am a proper princess. I am fighting for the world and it's children. 

            That is why, I, Relena Darlian, one of the last descendants of the Peacecraft family, fight.

            And there is no greater reason than this one. 

~*~  Finis  ~*~


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